Currently Listening Irish Tour By Rory Gallagher see related

I can't believe its been over a month....

Let's see, things going on....

• christmas presents being mailed to u.s., will arrive after new years
• working two jobs, retail christmas season, and the usual pub routine
• christmas tree looks great, rest of living room is total chaos
• had a fit and made things fall off the table at a restaurant, breaking two or more glasses
• smashed my finger in a door and its still disgusting, fingernail almost falling off
• took a bus and walked 25 minutes afterwards, each way, just to buy a freaking t-shirt from the harley davidson store
• going to see the al gore documentary tonight--finally!
• accidentally got drunk and aurelien's restaurant and talked too loud
• looking all over the planet for white shoes and a white dressy fitted blazer
• looking for a hotel for my dad to stay at the end of january
• my dad's coming to visit!
• its freaking freezing cold here and walking everywhere--today in heals!
• i hate american students.
• date is set. january 22nd.
• taking the plunge at 30, and happy about it. already accepted the fact that its not you-know-who, you-know-who, or you-know-who.
• favorite saying of the week: "If I'm crazy it's because you make me that way!"

*Phew*

Currently Watching Hellboy (Two-Disc Special Edition) By James Babson, Ladislav Beran, Selma Blair, Brian Caspe, Garth Cooper, Rupert Evans (II), Stephen Fisher, Biddy Hodson, Jim Howick, John Hurt, Corey Johnson, Doug Jones, Angus MacInnes, Ron Perlman, Karel Roden, Brian Steele, Jeffrey Tambor, Mark Taylor (XIII), Kevin Trainor see related

Happened to see this little-known and strange but well-made film last night called 'Hellboy'. The main character, Hellboy, is an exact likeness, in facial structure, lips, jaws, eyes, etc....of a certain person who I, believe it or not, am starting to not think about quite so often. Yes! Hellboy looks like Jamie! There I said it!

In other news, a little known but successful group out of Austin called Okkeville River happened to be playing in Grenoble last Thursday. Did I take the night off and go?

Yes I did.

After the show, which, I have to admit, was slightly not as good as the guy who had played right before them. Anyway....after the show, I went up to the lead singer, apparently his name is Will, to say hello. Being that we're both in France but surely have friends in common back in Austin, and plus being that Phil is a huge fan and everything.....And you know what? He was like, "Oh yeah? That's cool. What's his name? Oh. Look, I gotta get this stuff packed up...." I was like, "ok, he's busy, he's tired, he's tired of meeting americans on his european tour...."

A half hour later, after walking at a fast pace all the way back into town in the cold, who do we see in place Notre-Dame but the group Okkerville River! The funny thing was, one guy seemed to recognize me from the show and was like "Hey!" and then Will was like, "She's from Austin." and I was like, "No, I just lived there before." They asked me where they could go drink, and as I begin to explain to them, and thinking that we should probably just all go smoke weed at my place, or go back to the Druid's or something, they were like, "Oh, is it a danceclub? Forget it." They walked off, totally blowing me off FOR THE SECOND TIME IN ONE NIGHT, not knowing where they were going and not knowing that everything would be closed. A little patience would have gotten them privacy and cool music at the Druid's, AND a fat joint! 

Oh well, you can't expect much from boys. I totally couldn't care less.

Hey, here's a flickr site with pictures of me and Aurelien and the bar on Halloween. I organized this big soiree, with a costume contest and everything....we had a great time! I was Catwoman...he was the dead Pirate....

http://flickr.com/photos/53509901@N00/sets/72157594363352722/

Currently Watching Cat on a Hot Tin Roof By Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman, Burl Ives, Jack Carson, Judith Anderson, Madeleine Sherwood, Larry Gates, Vaughn Taylor, Mildred Dunnock, Vince Townsend, Jeane Wood, Patty Ann Gerrity, Zelda Cleaver, Robert 'Rusty' Stevens, Bobby Johnson, Hugh Corcoran, Brian Corcoran, Deborah Miller, Tony Merrill see related

must make entry. need home computer.

wow. let me start off by explaining that something drastic has taken place in my french life: harvest time. we had planted like seven or eight weed plants before the trip to the states. now its ready, and boy, i have to say i'm impressed. now i can start every day just like i used to in the good old u.s. of a. which i guess goes along well with my coasting-through-life-working-at-a-bar attitude. or whatever.

the bar is easy and hard at the same time. the actual brain-work required is self-paced. you could be stupid and do this job, or you could be smart, and do this job more efficiently. but the end result is the same. the hard part is seeing the same 15 people every night. and my feet hurt too. and the hours are tiring. i am required to live in another dimension, the world of the night-workers. people who go to bed at 4am and get up at noon on a good day, but usually after; because the quality of sleep during these hours is not very good. tonight is my first night off since last wednesday, and i'm ready!

aurelien's been going fishing every wednesday for like five in a row now. its his new thing. he has this amazing fish story from last week. the funny part about the whole thing is that HE HASN'T CAUGHT ANYTHING! last week a huge carp took off with the rod and reel, forcing aurelien to jump into the water and swim to chase his fleeing fishing pole. he got the pole and somehow got back on the shore and starting reeling the fish in. when the fish was close enough to trap in a net, they tried, but their net was too small, and they couldn't get it! finally the fish snapped the line and took off. he claims this thing was like a foot and a half long and big around like a football. he showed up at druid's in a stupor, telling the story. its an story that's easy to say, "oh yeah right!" so everyone's giving him a hard time.

we've been doing good, and my crazy thoughts about those remaining contestants in the u.s. are getting fewer and further between. i just want to be planted for a while. and this whole story with my getting or not getting a work visa or whatever...realizing that its virtually impossible. we're contemplating the next step and having a lot of meaningful moments and glances. we understand each other so much better now. so much is happening at once, and i'm working five nights a week for like 7 hours a night, and he's working six nights a week, and we don't have a night off together.

david gave us a fridge and stove, both new, that he had in storage. i'm organizing a halloween party at the bar with a costume contest with prizes. i don't know what i should dress up as. we're going to lyon tomorrow to do paperwork for me at the "american presence post" which is like the embassy but its closer and the people are nicer. i'm getting an MRI done of my eye tomorrow to see exactly what should be done and if it can wait until i have french social security (the natl health insurance), which i might be getting .....hopefully soon.

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who cares about all shit? i wanted to tell misti that when i was at the lake with aurelien, he started looking for rocks to skip on the water. i asked him if he was good at it. he said he was the champion of rock skippers, better than anyone. now if misti had been there, she and i would have looked at each other, thinking of one quite memorable rock skipping competition from the past. jamie and ryan at the cabin. "outdo him--AT ONCE!" and here's this french guy telling me that HE can skip rocks better than anyone? well, he showed me what he could do. and you know what? it wasn't too bad actually. and i had to think "maybe there is hope. maybe i haven't lost my dream of being the woman behind the best rock-skipper ever."

oh. smileys.

staring at this blog and hesitating to write something. now that's just not right. write.

things are advancing towards the positive, but i will soon find myself once again an illegal resident of the country i love. that would be the one that rhymes with "ants."

we're moving to an apartment directly across the street. its slightly smaller, no yard, but totally remodelled and clean and dry and warm. we'll have a big kitchen with a real refridgerator (one with an actual freezer part), and a real stove (one that has an oven part). we start moving tomorrow. get this--based on aurelien's salary, and since we're a couple, we're gonna get a couple hundred euros a month paid by the government towards our rent. that means even though our rent is going up, its actually staying the same. they don't even care if i'm illegal. well, until november 17th i'm still a "tourist" anyway.

the really big news is work. i've been working my ass off five nights a week at the pub, making more money than aurelien. but now i've got a real job offer--someone who has given me a work contract, which means a real salary, some benefits, and a foot in the system. this is the thing i need to be able to stay here! the problem is that this has to be approved by some nameless faceless commission of people at the department of labor. things are looking grim. this morning i took my contract to the Prefecture, which is the administrative building for the town. here's how it went at 9:30 a.m. (after i had to wait outside the door with all the other immigrants for a half hour, and then wait another 20 minutes inside):

me:  "Hello, I'm an American tourist and someone wants to give me a job. I have the work contract here with me."

the french asian bitch:  "That's not how we get a job here."

"Well, I'm here to find out what to do."

"That's what I'm doing, giving you information. You cannot work in France unless you have a long-sejour visa."

"But the long-sejour visa explicitly states that I do not have the right to work."

"Are you telling me you know how to do my job better than me?"

"No."

Fucking bullshit morning. Turns out that its up to my prospective boss to run around town filling out paperwork, and then, after weeks or months of waiting, IF the contract is approved, I would then have to RETURN TO THE U.S. just to get a visa pasted into my passport. Anyway, i guess we'll still try.

Minutes later, i'm on the tram headed to a beautiful village outside of town. I'm meeting an american woman who has three daughters and might need me to babysit sometimes. they were all really great, and i enjoyed having lunch with them. they're here on a work contract for some tech company (like all the american, irish, scottish, and english people here). the husband went to purdue, the mom is from chicago and went to champagne-urbana; they lived in austin for a spell. so...we had some stuff in common. she even says "dude." it went very well.

After lunch, still going on about five hours of sleep after working last night, i'm off to clean the apartment of some friends for 20 bucks. After that....more packing at home, shower, and here i am. 10 p.m.

Kelli just had her fourth child this week, a girl.   My boyfriend's mom told me I should "wait" to have a dog. I'm so tired of french people underestimating me. the best part was asking people to help me with my resume, the translating and stuff. that sure sorted out a few things.

so, i guess i wrote after all. uninspired, but stuff spews out nonetheless.

Currently Reading The Power of Positive Thinking By Norman Vincent Peale see related

WRITTEN EARLIER TODAY